17 April 2013

Thursdays at the "M"

Ever been to a swanky hostel? It sounds like an oxymoron, but I’ve done stand-up at Montreal’s finest hostel bar a couple of times now. Comic/producer Jon Selig’s latest venture, Stand-Up at the “M” runs Thursday nights at the M Montreal, a newly renovated hostel on the edge of the village.

The Comedy Hostel in action at Montreal's "M" Bar

I haven't stayed in hostels for a while, but my recollection doesn't involve modern comforts. Or comedy shows. They were usually boxes constructed for worn-out, budget-conscious travelers to crash in before washing their socks in the sink and heading down to the train station. But this place is different. I can’t speak for the rooms or restaurant, but the M Montreal’s staff is fresh-faced and friendly. And the comedy venue is unique: cavernous and a tad self-conscious, the lively basement bar features inexpensive beer – Sleeman’s on tap – antlers, varnished tree stump stools and an international clientele. There are of course regular bar chairs and tables, a couch or two next to a pool table, and flat screens partout. A bit like your friend’s parents built a rumpus room for their kids and left town.

Enter comedians.

I hosted last Thursday to a full house. Not more than a few minutes in, I was prying audience members for info on their travels, which is cliché but is also pretty cool at these shows since people come from places as far off and far out as Singapore or Scandinavia. I spoke to a guy named Tobias from Germany and later on discovered that the largest table was from Montreal. When I asked if there were people from elsewhere in Canada, I noticed a woman waving her arms at the back of the room.

‘Where in Canada are you from?’ I asked.

‘You were my grade 9 English teacher,’ she said.

The room exploded.

It was as absurd for me as it was for everyone else, because the joke was accidental. And this happened two minutes in, so the tone was set by a former student of mine, Dorian. A few minutes later, a guy at the Montreal table claimed he was my son. What a great night. Especially in light of the fact that the previous night I performed for three audience members and a dozen comics, and I wanted to crawl under the nearest table and cry my jokes into the beer-soaked carpet.  

These are the kind of nights that keep us coming back. Emma Wilke’s zingers had me falling off my chair before the show even started; Jon Selig and I discussed set lists like generals plotting to overthrow countries. Most of the comedy-junkies stuck around after the show to ride the adrenaline wave over beers and to let the night’s finer moments wash over us like a morphine drip.

I spoke to my former student after the show. She’s an English teacher now, has travelled around quite a bit and is as sharp as ever. I’d like to think she represented the IQ of the room, but who knows. They were giving, but made us work. They laughed, but not during set-ups. And they put enough money in the hat for me to stay away from the ATM for a whole day.

Ciao for now.

John St. Godard (Follow me on Twitter @st_godard)

For more info on Jon Selig’s Comedy Hostel:
Facebook: /MTLComedyHostel

Twitter: @MTLComedyHostel

Jon Selig's Twitter: @jonselig

10 March 2013

We are moving!

This will be our last post on this URL.
It hasn't been an easy decision. Do I change the name? Do I keep two blogs? Do I just forget TuJoHaHa all together? No, none of the above and Yes, all of the above.

08 March 2013

Kickash & Company

If money talks, crickets are chirping in Open-Mic Land. Yet few Montreal open-micers expect cash for grinding it out in a sea of crossed arms, VLTs, Habs’ games and barely literate hecklers.
John St Got-Paid
Count me as one of them.  
Pay? Not even on my radar until Paul Ash introduced me as MC for the Kickash Show at Andrew’s Pub last week. On my way to the stage – okay, the wall with the floor thing in front of it – I thought I heard him say something about ‘And this week’s winner ... as MC ... gets paid ....’

13 February 2013

Two comedy shows to make your weekend

It's cold and everybody is miserable. You're depressed and you can't wait to complain about the heat in a few months. You've put on weight, your skin is dry and all you want to eat is comforting yummy poutine. Well I've the remedy for all of the above. A weekend full of comedy, boobs and a lil booze never hurt anybody. Right?

06 February 2013

Golfer Stuck in Sandtrap Takes Own Life

PALM SPRINGS, CAL. - Plagued by awful putting and a failing chip shot, Christopher Nygard strapped himself into his golf cart this morning and drove into a pond on the Breezy Bend Golf Course           

Writer contemplating bunker shots
            Known as Cursin’ Chris by fellow golfers and nearby condo owners, Nygard learned to sublimate his loud profanity on the fairways into softer Swedish curses in the clubhouse men's room.

The 45 year-old physician was recently divorced by his wife, leaving many to wonder if marital problems contributed his death."Gloria still loved him," a friend said, "and Chris loved his wife ... but she found a man with a lower handicap."

 Hospital co-workers said that Nygard never tired of golf talk, and became obsessed with improving in all areas, at all times.

"I had to drag him out of the O.R. once," a nurse recalled.  "We were at a crucial point in a man’s surgery when Dr Nygard suddenly backed away from the table. We thought he was going to sneeze, but he started rocking back and forth, chanting, 'For the long shots, turn your shoulder and resist with your hips for maximum torque'." This was the moment hospital staff recognized the extent of Nygard's problem. "We were mortified by his comments," she said, wiping away a tear.  "Everyone knows you should let your hips turn freely - if you want to hit the ball with any power."

Breezy Bend golf pro, Steven McBain, tried to make sense of Chris's tragic decision. "Chris went from an 8 to a 10 handicap - which is very serious," he said. "But nothing to kill yourself over. Why didn’t he consider putting lessons? Or self-mutilation?"

McBain described Nygard's final moments on the course. "He wound up in the bunker to the left of the green ... his sand play was atrocious, and I kept telling him, 'Thump it! Stop swinging through the sand,' but he wouldn't listen. He dug a hole knee deep in the bunker, and wasn't letting up." McBain removed his cap to scratch his head. "Next thing you know, he walks out of the sand trap, hops into his cart, and drives it straight into that pond."

 Dr. Nygard's ashes will be spread in Breezy Bend's 18th hole bunker. Out of respect for the Nygard family, members are asked to remove their golf shoes before entering.
John St. Godard
Follow me on Twitter: @st_godard

01 February 2013

Sextape Comedy


No this is not a typo nor is it funny porn. Well it's porn for your laughing glands. Sextape Comedy is a sketch comedy group from Brooklyn, New York who have really have bitten my funny button. ( What?) They consist of Hans Kulla-Mader, Chelsea Catalanotto, and Tim Velsor. Together they make funny skits like this new one below. 

17 January 2013

Win tickets to see Ben Roy

So here's the deal folks. In less than two weeks, Ben Roy will be headlining the Comedy Nest in Montreal. Here's your chance to win one of the 4 pairs of tickets that I'm giving away!!!

So who is this man of mystery you ask?

06 January 2013

News Anchor Signs Off Without Identifying Herself

 News Anchor Signs Off Without Identifying Herself

TORONTO, ONT - A Caucasian woman described as being “in her mid-thirties” read the news on CBC Newsworld without identifying herself, earlier this week.

"It's disturbing, to say the least," a viewer named Louise from Timmins, Ontario, said today. "Sure I got the news, but who the hell is this woman? God, I can’t believe this. You know ... Anita is our letter carrier, we're comfortable with her now. Jeremy delivers flyers, no problem. But who's reading me the news? Is it Susan? Carol? This is ridiculous."

Martin considers herself a loyal viewer and now feels betrayed by the CBC.

Writer, digusted, holidays over. 
"I have watched Newsworld for years, and consider people like Andrew Nichols and Melissa Fung a part of my family," said Martin. "But now it's like having a stranger in my house. Not even the smallest courtesy. No introduction at all. I couldn't even begin to focus on the information ... foreign policy, school shootings . Who cares? I can't believe this happened. Who is this bitch?"

JSG :  Twitter: @st_godard

02 January 2013

Your Montreal Guide


So for my first promo of the year, here's a woman whom I've always admired. I have the pleasure to work with her occasionally and you will have the pleasure to let her show dazzle you. Her company, In Theory Productions creates original and unique show concepts. Stand-up comedy with a twist. An awesome one.  At the Comedy Nest, Friday, January 18th, will be your chance  to see her newest one:

Happy New Years Montreal!


The year has come to an end and what have I done!? A lot and and the same time nothing. Nothing is exaggerating but in my eyes, I could of done so much more. However, I'm not about to beat myself up over it because what I have accomplished under the circumstances giving to me, I am proud to be standing at the end of it all.