31 May 2010

New and improved Spiderman

Yes we all know our friendly neighbourhood Spiderman. But have you tried this? I can't remember for the life of me who is the comedian who had a bunch of different ways to have fun while having sex. Like the donkey punch but 21st century. The one that stuck with me is the spiderman. Now we know how this superhero get's the bad guys with his web. Well guys have a webbing too...although....no it's sticky, has a far reach, is of white and makes you say Eeeeeeewww! every now and then. It is understood you're a whore

30 May 2010

Butt Songs

Ok I don't know why I did it but I did.  Jiggling my butt, or whatever you wanna call it, is a past time of mine. My boyfriend decided to give me the idea to film my butt "singing".And of course I agreed. I thought this ws a genius idea. Having done webcam chat before, showing my butt to y'all  would be a pleasure. Why you ask? I ask myself that question also. But it's something I've always done. I'm sorry we forgot to turn of the TV but you know the alphabet right so...
So check it out and sing along with this first butt song!

A really funny Man

Louis C.K. hilarious. I first came across him on his show Life with Louis.  An HBO show which only lasted one season but that's   because people got no sense of crude humour. That show was great. Any show that cab cuss properly, which means not for the sake of saying fuck I'll fucking say fuck, but they use it well ,OK Fuck?!

Louis was born in 1967. Then, in 1984, Open mike night was the first time he went on a stage.. It was a comedy club in Boston Massachusetts.What a terrible experience this was. He only had 2 minutes of  "material" to stay on the stage.   After 2 years of hard work, Louis became a part of the Boston Stand- Up comedy scene.
Ever since he's been on the scene, Louis has touched everything from movies, writing, improv, and short stories. But he really found his calling on the Conan O'Brian show as Conan's first stand-up comedian. Since then he has done a few TV special stand-ups. Click on the link to check more of him out.
I love Louis' raw humour and the way he can still make racism funny 'cuz really black/white jokes ain't that funny anymore. Middle East is where it's at!
Here are some clips of his recent popular stand-ups. My friend Fred and I have laughed and laughed over these specific parts.

Being White
I like to Hate people
Gai People
To see more check out my channel on YouTube. I will keep you posted when he comes to the 514. You've got to catch him! And Louis, don't stop what you  do best: making people laugh!!
OK see y'all later...
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27 May 2010

Rape Barbie

Well as I was settling down for the night, I looked up and saw "Ken" the doll. I call him Glen. So anyhoo... I decided to put him in lude positions with stuffed animal keychains.... It just came to me. De plus..(Oui je parler le francais) j'ai trouve Biscuit. (je m'excuse pour les accents, mon clavier est anglais) Oui le phoque d'Istori. Oui Martine je l'avait tout ce temps. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Inside joke... Yes it's a f***ing seal. Long story short... the Istoris mascot.

Don't ask......

But then I remembered that there's a very short film that Tulia made when we first got our camera. Very short but I think you will appreciate it. We have a full version coming very soon. We just need to do voices for Babs and Bibi...

Why did I decide to take such pics of "Glen". Because I dispise Glen. Just look at his stupid face and girly features... Fucking fag!! (I said fag and not gai, there is a difference!!)
So enjoy these pics of lude Glen and this snippet and have y'all a good night.


Laugh on people, laugh on

26 May 2010

Quitting Smoking

So you guys no what Intervention is about right. I'm talking the show where you get to see people freak out and use and abuse there whole family? Hilarious!! Here is a link to the funniest one. Cristy...OMG!! She is a crazy meth head and thinks these crazy things obviously 'cuz of the drugs, but I mean geez louise. Yeah I'm addicted to pot but I ain't gonna steal from my mama!Here's the link for it. My point was that my boyfriend has been reminding me of this lately and he agrees. It's the hardest thing he's had to do, quit cigarettes. It's been a month and he has drastically cut down. Probably 5 packs this month (he smoked a pack a day). But he has these crackhead fits, toddler tantrums. Just like the peeps on
Intervention. "Just let me have one more and then I'll put on my patch." or "If you don't give me one, I'll just go buy a pack!"

Just like tonight we were out walking and he's begging me for a hall from the cig. I say no because it's the only smoke I've had in 5 days. I wanted to enjoy it, but he kept on and on and, just like intervention, you do it so he shuts up!

When he finally gets it, it's like heroin going through his veins. He automatically stops walking, puffs and exhales like it's the first smoke he's had after some disaster hit earth. So soothing and calm his cigarette is. "At one with the universe." he says. He can look at the picture and remember what that hall tasted like! Look at his face! Pure calm and satisfaction. I love my babes and support him to the end.
It's our future after all and I ain't given up herb any time soon...
But he says the fight is hard and long but determined to quit is the way to go!

But you see me, I ain't got no patience. Being a quitting-smoker myself, it's tough. And I don't use no patch or inhaler and shit. Maybe I should but why get addicted to something else. But I was never hooked to them like Skye. He loves that shit. So my first weeks of support sucked or should I say didn't last all day. But I've calmed down and see the half full glass now. It's a process and he's dedicated. So proud of you.

You ever try to quit something bad for you? Tell me about it. And check out Cristy's intervention.

It's very disturbing making it hilarious.

If your quitting, keep at it! If your not there yet, get there!

Laugh on people, laugh on

25 May 2010

Something about bloggin'

Yes just another spot to get more exposure, more traffic and more success!! But I need y'all help so pass the word!!
Keep following people and don't forget to laugh on people, laugh on!

Laughing and eating

If you love food as much as I do and you love to be entertained with jokes, you will love this place we went to to eat dinner at for Robyn ( Skye's sister ) birthday. Skye says it's the whitest food there is and that this whole art of cooking was intended to entertain the white man. FUJI, located at 11655 Gouin Blvd, is the name of the restaurant. This one is situated in the west island but you can find them around the montreal.Fuji is a nice venue wide open and well decorated.

24 May 2010

Questions for an angry black woman

After dinner last night,(which I will get back to you in my next post), an idea was proposed to me. "Why don't you have a page so that people can ask a black woman questions?" Genius! I thought 'cuz there's questions I want to ask black woman too! That's right. Me too!! So I found the perfect candidate besides myself...My mama!

Just for Laughs around the corner.

Just for Laughs!! So much is said from these three words. From there shows to festivals, gags to stand-up comedy, Just for Laughs is the real spot for hilarity in Montreal and around the world. Every year they host festivals,tours and shows in the UK, France and North America.

“You see, just for a laugh, I got this idea of bringing together in one place a bunch of people who like to laugh with a bunch of people who like to make others laugh.”- Gilbert Rozon, 1983

Like us, Gilbert Rozon had the same idea we had when putting this blog together; to make people laugh!!
On July 14th 1983, he put together something so that everyone can come together and laugh out loud!

Just for Laughs Gags is one of my favorite CBC shows. Really funny stuff. Nothings more funnier than real human reactions! The first Montreal Festival, which took place 27 years ago, is now the world's largest and most prestigious comedy festivals around the globe receiving well over 1 million people each summer. Just across the island, they have many venues that feature the best talent in this industry. From Bourbon Street West situated in the West Island, all the way to Club Soda, downtown. You can definitely find one near you!
This year who's gonna be at the festival? Well from July 2nd to the 25th they have a range of activities and shows to enjoy under the sun as well as inside where cooler temperatures are found. With ( my idols!!) Cheech and Chong hosting the galas, The Nasty Show and great stand-up comics like
Harland Williams, John Pinnette, Lewis Black and John Leguizamo, there is comedy for everyone. The Nasty Show is one of the most talked about shows during the festival. My mom went to see it last year and thought it was great! You can catch it at Club Soda from July 8th to July to July 11th.
The Nasty Show Just For Laughs
Click this link to find out more about this show and other Just for Laughs performances.

John Leguizamo, I know heh? Does anyone remember House of Buggins. That's the first time I've ever seen him. I laughed, and laughed. I love him in "Spun" as well as "Spawn". (yes I know this movie sucked but he was funny)
He'll be playing at the
Gesù ( Centre de créativité) From July 12 to July 18th. So check him out!

Just for Laughs is about feeling good in general. Yes your mama too!
From one man shows to stand-up comedy to Uptown Comics to Tap Dogs, Britcom to Amp'd the music show, the just for laughs festival has something for everyone.
I'm going to try and get tickets for Harland Williams. He's consistent at making me laugh and being in one of my, if not my favorite movies ever "Halfbaked". Love to go see that. He'sperforming at
L'Astral ( Maison du Festival ) on Tuesday, July 13 at 9:30 PM.
I'll be blogging about this. You can click on these venues to see what else is going there.
The TuJo team will be out during the month of July bringing you live footage and coverage of the free talents and activities going on in the streets. We'll keep you up to date with this.
I plan to be out and about this year not just for my blog but because you only live once right? And now that I'm so comfortable with myself that I don't give a fuck, I just wanna laugh all day long. At you, at me at anybody.
Have a great day peeps!

Quirky Quiz 2

Here's our 2nd quiz for y'all! We put more of a theme on it. Something everyone can relate to and see everyday....Names!!!

22 May 2010

HD Nail Polish

HD Nail Polish

You have gotta be messing with me. Anyone who knows me would know very well that I would usually be the last person on the planet to dis nail polish in any form. But there are always exceptions. Especially when something is so freakin' ridiculous.
So HIGH DEFINITION nail polish eh?! As you all know, HD is a term used for television and video resolution. A term that means that there are more, about one or two million pixels more per frame than video that we've known in the past. I don't know about you dear readers, but I think that it's safe to say that there are no freakin' pixels in enamel or paint. Do you wanna tell me that this nail polish is meant to been seen better in HD videos? Look, I really don't think that's the case here. If my boss could be damn near offended by a regular yellow nail polish that Jo was wearing... Well I guess he would need an eye exam after he sees the HD polish because he might be damn near blind afterwards.
Is this nail polish made for a new generation of techies and gadget freaks? "Hey girl, love ur new I-Phone". "Thanks, OMG!!! It goes great with my new HIGH DEFINITION nail polish". Or just imagine the illogical twits. Or try to picture a girl who might not be so bright at Best Buy, " does this mean that this TVs picture is as bright as my nails?" I must say that I would pay cash to hear some moron say that to an unsuspecting Best Buy clerk. The term for these pretty little bottles of polish is completely out of place and, quite frankly, it drives me nuts. I know that new terms often become trendy, but I will not be asking any my girlfriends how many pixels there are in the colour of her handbag. Shiiiit.

Posted bu Tu

21 May 2010

Sex, jokes and rock and roll!

That is what Le Quizz says to me when I walk into this funfilled litlle shop. Situated in Alexis Nihon, metro level next to Zellers (Yes Zellers they're still around!) You'll find a store filled with naughty words, funny drinking games, mugs and keychains that have something to say so you on't have to. They have a range of funny T-shirts which come in sizes from toddler to adult, cool punky funky clothes, which I love. Add some quirky clocks, flashy wigs and just weird items that are bound to put a smile on the meanest angriest face.

18 May 2010

A Great Day

Today was a very productive day for a lazy ass like myself. Having lost my cat last Friday, I decided to have a day out with my babes. We needed to take our mind off this situation.
We know you're thinking "it's just a cat" right? Just a cat, replaceable right? Wrong! There was a time I would have agreed with that statement but not anymore. My mom would be laughing at me since I have three other cats. I don't care.That's my child, my baby out there.The worst thing is with all the stress and bullshit he's putting us through, he's probably out there living it up like the asshole that he is. Motherf.......
( His name is Blacky or Blackstar but it always ends up being Blackass.)

16 May 2010

Tu answers are here!

Here they are people!
Tuls just posted her answers so check it out and don't forget to read other peoples too!

Check out Tuls answers
Posted by Tu

15 May 2010

Getting there

Yes I'm getting there. Gathering everything I've writing down in the past couple of months about funny skits, twisted commercials and all my memories of old Mad TV, I've summoned the courage to show all y'all my "funny side". I've discovered a love for editing which is funny 'cuz I've always been in denial of my love for computers...until editing. I couldn't say no anymore. Aaahh, if life were so easy. An intro song when I got out of bed every day, then just skip right to supper, "click,click deleted" ugly bitch from work. What a beautiful world........ but back to reality. I'm now cathcing up on what I should have already done at least I had fun. Now my fun is typing and wanting to learn terms and defintions. Motivation is a good bitch!

With my new passion comes this new obsession: blogging.

D'ah well. Could be worse. I could wake up half naked with in the middle of the street with blood painted on my ass at any moment in time. I could!!

So I bring you the first montage of Tu and Jo chilling at home one afternoon. Yes I know it's very silly and yes I was experimenting with all kinds of different shit. But hey practice makes perfect and don't worry, if you liked it (Yes!!!) there's more not far away. Editing about 4 different onesat the moment so stay tuned..................

And now I bring you our: First One
Hope you found this amusing people and don't be afraid to share your thoughts. I can make anything funny, even y'all!
Laugh on people, laugh on.

14 May 2010

Welcome...to Cooking with Tuls

Hold on to your hats and take a little look at the pilot episode of Cooking With Tuls. We've been thinking about this idea for a while now. But after all the ideas we had, this one was filmed completely on the fly, no script. (The best way!)

Hope you liked! More shows to come in the futur. Have a great day and remember:
Laugh on people, laugh on!

Posted by Tu

The Tu

The Tu

Well hewwo. I’m Tulia. What you’ll be seeing here basically are my opinions on how I’ve seen society over the last couple of years. It might at times seem twisted. If anyone tries to disagree with my warped views, I will gladly accept your shrinks phone numbers.

Now what are some of the things I’d like to discuss at this mad tea party?

10 May 2010

How to gut a Pike

Here are my Yugoslavian friends. Darko, Monkeyloco and others. They always crack me up and I hope they make you laugh with this video.Yes I know it's May but giving the temperature, the snow might feel normal.
Here they are after a day of ice-fishing, gutting a fish. The comments are funny and so are they. Tell me what you think!

Posted by Jo

I'm a Gay Fish!!

"I'm a motherf***ing lyrical wordsmith motherf***ing genius!!"

Yes I know it's crude but do you know where that's from? That's right South Park. Fourteen seasons and still going. This is a quote from episode 1305 which I've seen recently. In this adventure, Jimmy and Cartman make up a joke that Kanye West can't get: Do you like "fishsticks"? It's hilarious. Apparently he loves 'em! Sorry Kanye. You be a gay fish for the next week or so.

You know when South Park first came out my little brother the pastry chef, said "Hey watch this." I did. It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. Stupid really. These 2 Canadians who were farting all over the place. Very funny, right? I thought wrong. Looking back it was more like "I don't want to watch to my little bros stupid show". But neither the less, I did not watch them for a couple of years. Off and on. Then I saw "Orgazmo" and "Baseketball" which gave me motivation to give their show another chance.

08 May 2010

Jo's first answers

Here they are! You can check out my answers then if you haven't already, fill it out yourself!!

Jo's Answers

Quirky Quizzes

Yes this is where we ask you stupid, uncomfortable questions and you answer the first thing that comes to your mind. As ridiculous as you may think your responses are, give it to me. I love corny ass jokes and dumb puns so make me laugh and I'll return the favor.

Go check out Quiz 1

All quizzes will be read and laughed upon. New quizzes should follow shortly. Hey you never know, I might get an idea from y'all for some more nonsense. So be funny. Let it out, all out.I wanna laugh....and so do you.

The Jo

Call me Sassy Jo if you please. The organizing-hermit-video-gaming-glutton-impatient-charming-motherf***ing lady. Yes I love to eat laugh and chill out watching the tele. Late as usual, I’ve finally got connected to the web. So we’ve decided to share with ya’ll our sick twisted sense of humour.

This is TuJo

What's up!!! Welcome to TuJo.

The Tu and Jo are two gals who want to have fun. We are constantly laughing, cackling, chuckling and clowning around about.....well everything! We've always had a way of making any situation amusing. Whether we're twisting songs or goofing off with accents, we laugh out loud, literally.

(We're serious, you know when we're around, we be loud!)

So we bring you TuJo. Your one stop shop for jokes, puns, funny videos by us and friends as well as the comedy spots and shows. Basically anything that has to do with laughter, I'm going to talk about it.

Keep a look out for new pages that will make accessing your favourite posts easier. Quizzes and jokes will be added often as well as opinions on our preferred comedy shows and comedians.

We are still in the creating process, so there will be many edits this month. But we've decided to put up what we've got so far. It may be facetious, but I'm sure as we mature, you will find time for a daily laugh break with TuJo.

Sit back and take a load off. Let yourself go and make me laugh. I'm always open to all comments and suggestions, good or bad. I assure you, I'll get you back. Oh and don't forget to......

Laugh on people, laugh on!