11 January 2012

Your Mom by Tulia St-Martin

 Hello friends. It's nice to be back. Really, I missed this readers. Just you and me, communicating somehow over the blinding glow of a laptop with a cheap beer and me talking smack. I'm very happy to say get lost to 2011, you've been a jerk, and welcome the new year with hope for health and success for all of us and all that fuzzy stuff. So how's your mom been...
Anyone who is close to me would know that for awhile, mom jokes were a touchy subject. But now that all is well, let's throw the negative ideas out the window, shall we. Let's face it, the real idea behind the mom jokes has, obviously, nothing to do with your mom. In fact, she may be a very lovely person, or a giant bitch for all I know. For all I care she could be so ugly that she got rejected from a Walmart add campaign. Look, I have no clue on what street corner you're mom works, excuse me be walking on on a Friday night. I just want, and I'm sure most of you share this urge, a good old-fashioned battle of wits. So we have to throw the serene idea of our moms under a bus. It's all in the name of comedy, no?!

Looking for your mom's escort number
   I must say Jo, for the first show you put together the Yo Momma Battle was stellar! It was a fun way to get people to think on their feet. In the case of a battle, you can very well arrive with material written, but a lot of the time one is forced to defend themselves on the spot. I must say, their was some pretty twisted stuff in those heads or maybe some of your moms are too cheap to buy soap to wash your mouths. No judging. 
**cough cough** Dollar Store, **cough cough**.

   Well you lovely bunch of sickos, I've been inspired. I too have recently started writing a couple of indecent things about your mom. I've only written a hand full of jokes in my time. Not with any specific goal, just because I had a story or two to tell. but for some reason, your mother is throwing a damn near after party in my imagination and I can't seem to stop insulting her. Bitter little one? Dunno, picked on in high school, revenge against the world and bla, bla, bla

   Seriously buddies, we should all get together and trash talk each others loved ones sometime soon. See ya sugar.... is what your mom said last night

Tu

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